Ye Olde third post

"Ham was only a village, but villages were proud and independent still in those days. Farmer Giles had a dog. The dog's name was Garm. Dogs had to be content with short names in the vernacular: the Book-Latin was reserved for their betters. Garm could not talk even dog-Latin; but he could use the vulgar tongue (as could most dogs of his day) either to bully or to brag or to wheedle in. Bullying was for beggars or trespassers, bragging for other dogs, and wheedling for his master. Garm was both proud and afraid of Giles, who could bully and brag better then he could.''  

Unfortunately nowadays dogs and cats don't seem talk, even in the vulgar tongue. Personally I think that cats can and just choose not to talk to "lower life forms" as they call us. But they seem to make good mascots, so I guess that's okay.
No animals were hurt in the making of this blog post.